jump to navigation

Even Worse Than Death March 10, 2012

Posted by ijwoods in Blog+.
Tags: , , ,
add a comment

When someone we love is diagnosed with a life-threatening condition, the worst thing we can imagine is that he or she might die. The sobering fact is that there are worse things than having someone you love die. Most basic, there is having the person you love die badly, suffering as he or she dies. Worse still is realizing later on that much of his or her suffering was unnecessary.” That’s an excerpt of a forthcoming book The Best Care Possible by Ira Byock, a long time palliative care physician, advocate for improved end-of-life care, and a past president of the American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine.

After reading that excerpt I realized that part of the inspiration I had in creating this site came exactly from that line of thinking. Although the care giving I provided to K required a lot physically, it came naturally and lovingly.  It was a very intimate experience for the both of us.  On the other hand, the mental pressures definitely took a toll on me and one of the big ones was the concern that I would do something to cause K pain or harm. Both during and afterwards there was a intensive replaying of events in my mind looking for ways I could have improved her situation or handled things better. Many people have told me to not go there, but that’s easier said than done and the reality is that I could have used more information and help. It of course does me little good now. (more…)